College Football & The Battle Of The Bands

This was posted on one of the West Virginia fan boards. Division I football teams are compared with musical acts.

I cannot claim credit or blame for this. I do not claim to be a music junkie. However, this is pretty funny.

BOSTON COLLEGE: VAN HALEN----- They were good in the 80's. Good, not great. Commercial appeal (Doug Flutie, Pepsi commercials)
CLEMSON: FLEETWOOD MAC----- Pretty solid. They were maybe the best for one year (Fleetwood Mac- "Rumours", Clemson '80). Inbreeding prevalent.
DUKE: MENUDO----- Worst of the worst. Soft.
FLORIDA STATE: BEASTIE BOYS----- Very strong in the 90's. Good for over 20 years. Tougher than Florida, not as tough as Miami.
GEORGIA TECH: OTIS REDDING----- Very good for a long time. Not unbeatable. Southern and old school.
MARYLAND: OASIS----- Had a couple of really good years about 5 to 10 years ago. Probably not as good as they think they are.
MIAMI: NWA----- Very dominant from the 80's on. Full of superstars. Very tough.
NORTH CAROLINA AND NORTH CAROLINA STATE: HALL AND OATES----- Weren't they good once? Were they? Which one's Hall? Which one's Oates?
VIRGINIA: BUSH----- Probably better than they think they are. Still middle of the road.
VIRGINIA TECH: U2----- Very good for a long while. Maybe slightly overrated.
WAKE FOREST: MATCHBOX TWENTY----- Fairly new to the scene. Not flashy. Non-descript. Among the better teams, but not great. Somewhat soft.
FLORIDA: NIRVANA----- Fairly dominant. Strongest from the 90's on. Not as street as Florida State or Miami.
SOUTH CAROLINA: FOO-FIGHTERS----- Pretty good. Not incredible. Steve Spurrier (Dave Groel) went from Florida (Nirvana) to South Carolina (Foo-Fighters).
GEORGIA: JOHNNY CASH----- Very good. Country western style. Good for a long time. Kind of tough.
KENTUCKY: RASCAL FLATTS----- A new power. Very country.
TENNESSEE: THE EAGLES----- Always in the top mix. Overrated.
VANDERBILT: CREED----- Religious. Maybe you thought they were good for a minute, but not really.
ALABAMA: ELVIS PRESLEY----- The southern king of the 20th century.
AUBURN: JAMES BROWN----- A slightly wilder Elvis (Alabama).
OLE MISS: RAY CHARLES----- Very dominant in the 50's and 60's. Similar region.
MISSISSIPPI STATE: ACE OF BASE----- Kind of a joke. Hit their peak in the 90's, but kind of a laugher now.
ARKANSAS: LYNYRD SKYNYRD----- Both are southern through and through. Pretty equal talent levels. Every now and then had great hits.
LSU: WU-TANG CLAN----- Dominant. Deep, fast, and tough.
CONNECTICUT: MARROON FIVE----- Have been winning some games and awards lately. An up and comer. No one you would be terrified of.
SYRACUSE: BUDDY HOLLY----- Last dominant year, 1959. The Orange's last title, Holly's last plane ride.
RUTGERS: TOMMY TUTONE----- They toil in mediocrity, with the exception of one smash hit. Let's all say it together....8-6-7-5309.
PITTSBURGH: CREEDENCE CLEARWATER----- Both very strong in the 70's. Star players. Hit songs. Fairly similar talent level.
WEST VIRGINIA: 50 CENT----- A new power. A little crazy. Dangerous.
SOUTH FLORIDA: KANYE WEST----- A new power. Not quite as crazy as WVU, but beat them this year, just like Kanye's record sales.
CINCINNATI: MARKY MARK----- They think they're pretty tough. Not much of a history because it's not their best sport (for Marky Mark it's acting).
LOUISVILLE: TOBY KEITH----- Very popular in their neck of the woods. Were very strong, but maybe tailing off a little. Country.
PENN STATE: PINK FLOYD----- Very strong for a long time. Like to party.
OHIO STATE: THE WHO----- Most think they're among the best. Some think they're a little boring.
MICHIGAN: LED ZEPPELIN----- Extensive catalog. Great history. Top level.
MICHIGAN STATE: AEROSMITH----- Definitely not on Led Zeppelin's level. Started out great, then fizzle out at the end.
INDIANA: THREE DOG NIGHT----- Not on the same level as most of their league. A few hits scattered about. Maybe even a little humorous.
PURDUE: BOB SEGER----- Not many pay them much attention, but they're pretty good at what they do. Again, a little boring.
ILLINOIS: HANK WILLIAMS SR.----- Dominant in the late 40's.
NORTHWESTERN: THE MONKEES----- Actors. Had a couple of good years, but definitely not the Beatles.
NOTRE DAME: THE BEATLES----- Most famous. Most hits. Supremely dominant.
IOWA: PAUL SIMON----- Pretty good for a long time, sort of folksy.
IOWA STATE: ART GARFUNKEL----- Not on Paul Simon's (Iowa) level. Plus they were split apart....Big 10/ Big 12.
WISCONSIN: SMASHING PUMPKINS----- Strongest from the 90's on. Lots of talent.
MINNESOTA: CROSBY, STILLS, NASH----- Ran a 3-headed monster running back. Used to be pretty solid.
NEBRASKA: PEARL JAM----- Very dominant in the 90's. One of the best of their time period. Faded quickly.
KANSAS STATE: STONE TEMPLE PILOTS----- Also very good in the 90's. Not quite as big as Nebraska.
KANSAS: KANSAS------ May be just a one hit wonder...because after all, all we are is "dust in the wind" .
MISSOURI: THE KILLERS----- A new powerhouse possibly.
COLORADO: THE POLICE----- The best there was for a couple of years.
OKLAHOMA: BOB DYLAN----- An all-time great. Classic. A little folksy.
OKLAHOMA STATE: JONI MITCHELL----- Not on Bob Dylan's level. Still the folk thing.
TULSA: WALLFLOWERS----- Bob Dylan's son.
TEXAS: METALLICA----- Best in their genre. Fast, explosive, obsessed.
TEXAS A&M: DEF LEPPARD----- Not as good as Metallica, but similar.
TEXAS TECH: IRON MAIDEN----- Sometimes faster, crazier, and more explosive than Metallica (Texas)...but not as good a band.
BAYLOR: SLAYER----- Morbid joke....The thing Baylor is most famous for.
TCU: POISON----- Horned frogs are poisonous. Maybe had a better year or two than Metallica.
SMU: MEGADETH----- They got the mega-death penalty.
HOUSTON: WINGER----- They wing the ball around a lot (i.e. David Klingler). Run n' gun style.
UTEP: TWISTED SISTER----- A UT sister campus in the middle of nowhere.
NORTH TEXAS: QUIET RIOT----- One of the lesser talents of heavy metal Texas. Plus Quiet Riot and Mean Green both rhyme.
RICE: RATT----- It has 4 letters and begins with "R". Plus it fits our theme.
WASHINGTON: SOUNDGARDEN----- They're both from the same area. Pretty equal talent level. Strong in the 90's.
WASHINGTON STATE: MUDHONEY----- Not on Soundgarden's level. Same general genre.
OREGON: ALICE IN CHAINS----- Underrated. Very strong 90's until present. Same general region.
OREGON STATE: SCREAMING TREES----- There are beautiful trees in Oregon. People smoke a lot of tree in Oregon. Similar popularity and talent.
STANFORD: RADIOHEAD----- Cerebral. Emotional. A good team overall. Artsy area.
CALIFORNIA: COLDPLAY----- Same region. Maybe a little bigger than Radiohead right now.
USC: ROLLING STONES----- One of the best of the best.
UCLA: THE DOORS----- Los Angeles. Famous. Not quite the level of the Stones.
ARIZONA: STEELY DAN----- I didn't know they still played.
ARIZONA STATE: MOTLEY CRUE----- Wild, like to party a lot. Hang out with hot girls.
ARMY: FRANK SINATRA----- Dominant in the mid-1900's. Very classy. Past their day.
NAVY: DEAN MARTIN----- Also dominant in the mid-1900's. Maybe a better voice than Sinatra, even though Sinatra had a slight lead.
AIR FORCE: HARRY CONNICK JR.----- Wants to be like Army and Navy used to be, but didn't quite get there. They were better in the 80's and 90's.
EAST CAROLINA: HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH----- Fun-loving. Kind of ridiculous. Had a few big years, but not very good.
MEMPHIS: THE SPINNERS----- Not on the same level as the Eagles (Tennessee), but with more soul. Plus, it's more of a basketball school, so they probably have a "rubberband man" or two.
TULANE: COUNTING CROWS----- Similar talent level. Everybody usually knows the lead singer (QB), but nobody knows the rest of the team.
UTAH: LIFEHOUSE----- Not quite as religious as BYU, but still religious. Decent squad with some hits.
BYU: THE OSMONDS----- This is just funny.
UTAH STATE: HANSEN----- May be even funnier.
NEW MEXICO: JANIS JOPLIN----- Sort of weird and dirty. Kind of "out there", but sometimes put out things you really like.
NEW MEXICO STATE: YOKO ONO----- Less talented than Joplin (New Mex.). Uglier than Joplin (New Mex.). Somebody must be a fan, but I'm certainly not.
SOUTHERN MISS: BOBBY MCFERRIN----- Kind of a joke. Had one all-time hit (Brett Favre).
CENTRAL FLORIDA: BLACK-EYED PEAS----- New. Annoying.
FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL: 2 LIVE CREW----- Like to fight a lot. Not very good at what they do, and probably care more about parties and women anyway.
FLORIDA ATLANTIC: LIL' WAYNE----- Still kind of new. Might be good, might not.
UAB: GETO BOYS----- Probably want to be like Miami (NWA) or LSU (Wu-Tang), but not on their level. Lots of gangstas though.
WYOMING: KID ROCK----- I'm a cowboy, baby. Kinda scraggly. Weird uniforms.
COLORADO STATE: JACK JOHNSON----- Some fairly new hits. At times sound really good, other times you forget they exist.
BUFFALO: TAYLOR HICKS----- Pathetic.
TEMPLE: CLAY AIKEN----- Beyond pathetic.
UNLV AND NEVADA: ROBERT GOULET AND ENGLEBERT HUMPERDINCK----- Everyone knows who they are, but nobody knows anything that they've ever done.
SAN DIEGO STATE: JIMMY BUFFETT----- Tropical. Laid back. Pretty similar talent levels.
BOISE STATE: NICKELBACK----- Put out a ton of hits recently. You keep thinking that their gonna go away, but they keep putting out hits.
HAWAII: PHISH----- Weird, gimmicky. Way "out there". Their fans are half-naked, but not necessarily in good shape.
FRESNO STATE: SUGAR RAY----- West coast. Everyone knows the lead singer (QB such as David Carr). Mediocre.
SAN JOSE STATE: NO DOUBT----- West coast. Everyone knows the lead singer (QB), but a little more feminine (Jeff Garcia) than Fresno. Mediocre.
MARSHALL: SUBLIME----- A major tragedy struck them on their way to the top.
KENT STATE: BLIND MELON----- Lesser tragedy. Lesser band.
TOLEDO: GOOD CHARLOTTE----- Very strong about 5 years ago, but never got incredibly popular. Now they are easily forgotten.
BALL STATE: FALL OUT BOY----- Same genre as Good Charlotte, maybe hotter now. (Ball St. beat Navy on the road and almost beat Nebraska on the road.)
NORTHERN ILLINOIS: SUM 41----- Again, same genre. Had a few great hits (beating MD, had Michael "the Burner" Turner). But again, that was a few years ago.
AKRON, OHIO, BOWLING GREEN: CHRISTINA AGUILERA, JESSICA SIMPSON, MANDY MOORE----- Nobody really knows who's better from year to year. Nobody really cares.
WESTERN MICHIGAN, EASTERN MICHIGAN, CENTRAL MICHIGAN: BACKSTREET BOYS, NSYNC, 98 DEGREES------ They're all the same damn thing. Oh they're not? Then explain the differences to me.
MIAMI OF OHIO: NEW FOUND GLORY----- Same genre as Good Charlotte, etc., but they have a new found glory, because nobody would know who they are either if it wasn't for Roethlisberger.
TROY: LINKIN PARK----- They dominate their genre (Sun Belt Conference). Fairly new, nobody knows how good they could end up being.
IDAHO: GWAR----- They're weird. They're terrible. And nobody even cares about them.
LOUISIANA-MONROE: BANANARAMA----- Similar talent level.
LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE: THE BANGLES----- Again, similar talent level, with maybe a few more hits than Bananarama (La.-Monroe).
LOUISIANA TECH: THE GO-GO'S----- A few more hits than the Bangles (La.-Lafayette).
WESTERN KENTUCKY: DAVID HASSELHOFF----- One of the worst. Not even their best sport (Hasselhoff's acting), but not very good at either one. Huge in Germany.
ARKANSAS STATE: NELSON----- Just horrible on so many levels.
MIDDLE TENNESSEE: THE AVERAGE WHITE BAND----- No explanation necessary